Thursday, March 01, 2007

All About The List
"Do A-Listers have a responsibility to link to Z-Listers?" I think not. Even if you've got a huge amount readers, it's your blog, not the blogosphere's blog." Gaping Void

On the January/February Atlantis cruise, one couple caught quite a bit of attention at dances and dinners. One of the guys was tall, goodlooking, muscular, dark wavy hair. You know the type. The other one was good looking too - and much much shorter. You never saw one without the other. And the prevailing question among us all was: "What's the exact nature of this relationship?"

We came up with that question because they were odd, because we in the gay community are so used to seeing couples that are composed of guys who pretty much reflect each other. Bears with bears. Muscle guys with muscle guys. Young with young. Older with older.

We seldom see this kind of difference in one couple. And yet, it wasn't all that much of a difference, if you think about it.

And if you do think about it, you come up with: it's all about the list. At least, that's what I come up with. What list you're on dictates who you partner with. Who you link to. A, B, Z... Moderately handsome (though no slouches) forty/fifty year olds hang together. 19.5 inch biceps hang together. Thirty-two year old model/lawyers hang together.

When we'd run across this couple, the differences we saw kept us from believing that these guys were together because they themselves chose to be together - without a previously-arranged business agreement. The List dictated our conclusions. Tall guy and short guy? Not a chance.

Do A-listers have the responsibility to date Z-listers? I think not. The discourse on desire maintains everyone has the right to choose who they want. However, I'm somewhat disturbed in the pedestrian nature of my current thinking - and my willingness to believe only what my eyes see.


jimbo said...

At the beach I was sunning with a friend and I saw this hot guy with a tight wrestler's build frolicing in the surf with a rather rotund and older gentleman.

I pointed them out to my friend and said, "Look, a chubby chaser found his man. That's cute." and he couldn't believe it. To each their own, whatever floats each other's boat.

Daniel said...

Erte of Reho weighs in:
You know me and my man - 10 years age difference, his big biceps and chest to my thin build, the employer he's had for eons to my new adventure (at least that what I like to call it) every couple of years. Worlds apart in upbringing, but surprisingly well-adapted to each other.

(And aren't you proud that I remembered my name?)