16 Things I Hate About the Holidays

Everybody hates fruitcake, New Year's Eve, and Secret Santa gift swaps. They're easy to despise, and few will argue for them. But don't we each keep our own list of festive things that seriously test our goodwill? As today in D.C. is wet, cold, (now dark), and miserable, here are mine:

• "O Holy Night."
• Melismatic pop singers lugubriously mangling "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," "The Christmas Song," and "White Christmas."
• Those gigantic red bows on gift cars in commercials.
• "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer."
• The Perfect Gift.
• Rankin-Bass holiday specials (except for Rudolph. And the Rankin-Bass logo tag.)
• Virginia.
• Holiday movies in which a mysterious package appears under the tree Christmas morning which signals either that Santa exists or What Happened To The Hero The Night Before Wasn't Just A Dream.
• Office building holiday dessert receptions in the lobby.
• Midnight mass.
• Darkness, cold, and those illnesses that spring forth this time of year.
• Those who try to make other holidays into the alternative Christmas (let those holidays be what they are!)
• Office decorations.
• Whimsy.
• Traveling.
• 24 Hours of "A Christmas Story."

My Top 20 Tactics for Taming Terrible TV Addiction Madness

I basically made one New Year's Resolution last week: to work on my TV addiction. It's been with me for a long, long time, from my early days when I rushed home from school to watch Dark Shadows, through my higher education years (majoring in Television and Communications - what else?) I've realized I need to do something to curb my nightly channel surfing activities, but I wasn't having much luck in figuring out exactly what to replace the tube with until I fell upon The 9 Step Television Diet (at Think Simple Now, by way of The Happiness Project.)

Tina's list of television's evil effects hit home for me, and her options for battling this particular monkey are simple and achievable. They also encouraged me to come up with my own list of Things To Do Instead of Watching TV and Ways To Battle the Madness. They are:

1. Turn the TV on later in the evening. (I got used to this when I was working at home all last summer and fall.)
2. Cultivate the ability to turn things off. (I turn off the stove after using it - think of the TV as the stove.)
3. Increase my stamina. (This helps with number 15, below.)
4. Replace with working out, a class, a hobby
5. Move to someplace more active all year round
6. Turn on the radio - methadone for TV addicts
7. Call people on the phone
8. Take the laptop to a coffee shop
9. Turn the set on, but turn off the sound
10. Figure out other relaxation methods
11. Go to bed earlier. (This will allow me to Get up earlier.)
12. Move the Tube - to a less central and accessible location.
13. Get rid of cable. (This one's tough, unless I really start thinking about what I can buy with the money I've saved after 6 months - which amounts to a weekend trip to the beach!)
14. Stay longer at work.
15. Move my gym workouts to the evening.
16. Do home improvements
17. Plan out tomorrow or next week (lunches, dinners, work plan, workouts)
18. Allow for some (few) days when I will watch TV the way I used to. (During blizzards. And cold torrential downpours. When I'm sick. Or after a particularly stressful week or month.)
19. Freelance! (Make extra money!)
20. Blog.

(I would put "reading" as number 21, but for me, reading can become an addiction too. So while I definitely think it's better than watching "The Biggest Loser," I also consider it the methadone of TV addiction cures.)

Why You Might Change Your Passions and/or Dreams in Mid-Life

I used to be all about performing. Onstage, in concerts. Watching others tackle my original work. Paying big bucks to see the masters at work. I've sung in Carnegie Hall and on CBS for the Kennedy Center Honors. I've watched as television actors made my words their own and gave life to my characters in Los Angeles. I've witnessed firsthand some of the most legendary performers of the 20th century.

So why isn't it all that important for me to work in the performing arts anymore? I have my reasons, which I'll list below. Perhaps you'll recognize some of them yourself, if you're challenged by a major shift in your goals.

But first, check out what Hugh Mcleod has to say about this phenomenon, in his post Allow Your Work To Age With You at Gaping Void.

Hugh advocates quitting and moving on. I'm analyzing the possible reasons why one would quit that support Hugh's take on the subject. The reasons?

Those things are no longer fun.
Pursuing them makes no business sense - too much money expended for less and less returns.
Quitting allows for investigating other options and opportunities.
You've found something better.
It was never about [fill in the blank], and you've had enough of what it's about.
You've lost faith in the issue/idea/area.
You've lost respect for the issue/idea/area.
You've fulfilled your dream and don't need to go further.
The money didn't follow.
You feel there are too many sacrifices you continue to have to make.
It was someone else's dream in the first place.
It was more about proving something about yourself than a love for it (the issue, idea or area.)
You're much more enamored of part of the dream than the whole thing.
You've found easier/cheaper/better ways of working at your dream.
You ran out of ideas.
You've decided the amount of work you have to do isn't worth it in the long run.
It really is too hard to pull off.

I used to dream about making movies. Now I dream about travel, following the sun, being outdoors, athletic activity.

But it is strange to say goodbye to a passion that's taken up so much time and energy. But it needs to happen, since the passion is just not there anymore.

How To Eat Healthier and Enjoy It in 2008
The long national nightmare known as The Holidays are now officially over, and 2008 has just begun. Time to throw away all the leftover gift chocolate, seal up the liquor bottles, and resign ourselves to Healthy Eating Madness. I know I can improve the quality of my food intake - my only problem is getting out of the chicken breast, broccoli and sweet potato rut. I searched a number of fitness sites, lifehack and diet blogs to come up with the following lists of healthy foods that might just help me introduce more variety into the potentially bland:

The 10 Best Foods You Aren't Eating - from Men's Health
Beets
Cabbage
Guava
Swiss chard
Cinnamon
Purslane
Pomegranate juice
Goji berries
Dried plums
Pumpkin seeds
Plus these extras:
Salmon
Beans
Blueberries
Quinoa
Walnuts/Almonds
Spinach
Artichokes
Tomatoes

The Top 5 Brain Health Foods - from Brain Ready
Wild Salmon
Cacao Beans
Matcha (Tencha-grade green tea powder)
Acai berries & Blueberries
Coffee beans

Top Ten Rejuvenating and Anti-ageing Foods - from Lifehack
Avocado
Berries
Green vegetables
Garlic
Ginger
Nuts
Yogurt
Whole wheat pasta and brown rice
Melons
Water

10 BEST FOODS/Super Foods for Better Health - from CSPI
Sweet Potatoes
Grape Tomatoes
Fat-Free or 1 % Milk
Broccoli
Wild Salmon
Crispbreads
Brown Rice
Citrus Fruit
Diced Butternut Squash
Spinach or Kale

The 29 Healthiest Foods on the Planet - from BellyBytes.com
Apricots
Avocados
Raspberries
Cantaloupe
Cranberry Juice
Tomato
Raisins
Figs
Lemons/Limes
Onions
Artichokes
Ginger
Broccoli
Spinach
Bok Choy (Chinese cabbage)
Squash (Butternut, Pumpkin, Acorn)
Watercress and Arugula
Garlic
Quinoa
Wheat Germ
Lentils
Peanuts
Pinto Beans
yogurt 25.
Skim Milk
Shellfish (Clams, Mussels)
Salmon
Crab

10 Super Foods for Better Health - from Dumb Little Man
Berries
CitrusVegetables
Whole Grains
Salmon
LegumesNuts and Seeds
Lean Protein
Olive Oil
Tea

Kick Start Your Day With These 11 Mood-Lifting Foods - from The Ririan Project
MILK
CHOCOLATE
WHOLE-GRAIN RICE OR PASTA
MACKEREL
BROCCOLI
COFFEE
TURKEY
LIVER
BLUEBERRIES
BRAZIL NUTS

10 Great Foods to Melt Away Those Pounds - from Diethack
Grapefruit
Chilies
Black Beans
Applea
Celery
Strawberries
Mackerel
Cottage Cheese
Low-Fat Milk
Lettuce

5 Power Foods to Live Longer - from Diethack
Spinach
Tofu
Blueberry
Avocado
Garlic

Foods That Burn Fat/The Top 10 Lists - from Burn the Fat Blog

Starchy Carbohydrates and Grains:
1. Oatmeal (old fashioned)
2. Yams (almost same as sweet potatoes)
3. Brown rice (love basmati, a long grain aromatic rice)
4. Sweet potatoes
5. Multi grain hot cereal (mix or barley, oats, rye titricale and a few others)
6. White potatoes (glycemic index be damned!)
7. 100% whole wheat bread
8. 100% whole wheat pasta
9. Beans (great for healthy chili recipes)
10. Cream of rice hot cereal

Vegetables:
1. Broccoli
2. Asparagus
3. Spinach
4. Salad greens
5. Tomatoes
6. Peppers (green and red)
7. Onions
8. Mushrooms
9. Cucumbers
10. Zucchini

Proteins:
1. Egg whites
2. Whey protein (protein powder supplement)
3. Chicken Breast
4. Salmon (wild alaskan)
5. Turkey Breast
6. Top round steak (grass fed beef)
7. Flank Steak (grass fed beef)
8. Cod Fish
9. Bison/Buffalo
10. Rainbow Trout

Fruits:
1. Grapefruit
2. Apples
3. Blueberries
4. Canteloupe
5. Oranges
6. Bananas
7. Peaches
8. Grapes
9. Strawberries
10. Pineapple

A Visual Guide to 15 Healthy Snacks - from Diet Blog
Raw Almonds
Raw Mixed Nuts
Dried Fruit
Mandarin
Apple
Banana
Grapes
Tuna
Dried Peas
Popcorn
Baby Carrots
Celery & Hummus
Cherry Tomatoes
Whole-grain Crispbread with Cottage Cheese
Bean Salad

Top 19 Exercise Tips and Tricks from the Blogosphere

In just a couple of weeks, the holiday food madness will reach New Year's Resolution time, and most of us will lament the calories we've consumed and vow to get into shape. Should be no problem, right? "Life hacking" blogs can help us out. I visited 6 bloggers, 18 posts, and scanned over 200 items to come up with the following most popular tips and tricks that will get us exercising and keep us working out through the rest of winter:

FIND YOUR BEST EXERCISE TIME AND SCHEDULE IT ON YOUR CALENDAR - 17 tips in all
Tactics include: Don’t put exercise time in a place where it will easily be pushed aside by something more important. Find your best time of day for exercise. Schedule workouts. Do it early in the morning - during lunch - after work.

DON'T GET STUCK IN AN EXERCISE RUT - 15
Be a bit adventurous, try out different exercises. Seek a geographic cure.

START SMALL AND SLOW - 13
In the beginning, it’s best to hold back, and just do a little. Your goal is to set a workout routine that is challenging, but not overwhelming. If you’ve been inactive for years, you can’t run a marathon after two weeks of training.

GO FOR THE RIGHT REASON(S) - 11
Go for Yourself, Not to Impress. Focus on the feeling after the session. It’s Time for you/Time for contemplation. Don’t be motivated only by weight loss goals. Living long enough to see your grandkids … and play with them. Remember that your ultimate goal is an active lifestyle. Go for the long haul - Think of exercise as a life-long habit, and your goals will come to you eventually.

GO FOR THE OTHER RIGHT REASONS - 11
How you’re going to look. Fitting into new clothes. Being attractive. How you look in your before picture. The dread of feeling “yuck” from not exercising. The scale. Others commenting on how good you look. An upcoming day at the beach, or a reunion. Calories burned.

EXERCISE STRATEGIES A GYM TEACHER MIGHT SAY - 11
Stop making excuses. Think positive. If you fail, get up, brush yourself off, and start again. Commit yourself. Don’t worry if you’re not seeing results right away. Exercise even when you feel tired. Don’t get discouraged when you reach your plateau.

BE AWARE OF AND ANALYZE YOUR EXERCISE PROBLEMS - 11
Isolate Your Weakness. What are your priorities? Listen to your Body.

GET A WORKOUT PARTNER OR BUDDY - 9
Pick someone who is committed to their health. If you can't afford a trainer or a great instructor, or you don’t think you’re ready for one yet, grab hold of a friend with similar goals. Just make sure you don’t become so dependent on your gym buddy that you forego working out if he can’t make it. Make it a competition. Bet on who will achieve a certain goal first.

SET GOALS - 9
Set one easy, specific, measurable goal. Not weight-loss or muscle gain goals, but fitness goals. Think more along the lines of “I want to lose 20 pounds” or “I want to get down to a 15% bodyfat level Post goals where you can see them constantly.

MAKE EXERCISE FUN -8
If you don’t enjoy yourself at the gym, it is going to be hard to keep it a habit. Don’t let it be painful. If you like it you’ll keep at it. Exercise should be fun.

REWARD YOURSELF - 8
When you reach a goal, whether it is a little one or a big one, reward yourself. The first few days are the most crucial. Reward yourself often during this time. Reward Showing Up, Not Weight Loss.

MAKE IT A HABIT YOU WON’T QUIT - 8
If you can do exercise at the same time, every single day for a month, you are more likely to make it a habit. Avoid long breaks in exercising or rebuilding the habit will take some effort. Make Time. Don’t let a four day holiday interfere with your attempts to get in shape.

ADD MOTIVATORS - 8
Fitness magazines. A cover model picture on your fridge. Read blogs about people who are into running, losing weight. Find success stories
Print motivational quotes or put them on your desktop. Buy strength training books

MAKE IT SOCIAL - 7
Surround yourself with like-minded people. Get some friends to exercise together. Sign up for a class. Join an online group.

EAT HEALTHY - 6
Incorporate foods high in nutrients and low in fats and empty calories. Get the protein your muscles need to rebuild. If you do intense workouts, you will need carbs, or you won’t have enough energy. Don’t fuss over minutia like whether your getting enough Omega 3’s or tryptophan. Don’t get fooled by the deceptively healthy snacks just pretending to be good for you. You shouldn’t work out on an empty stomach — but you also shouldn’t eat right before you work out.

KICK UP INTENSITY AFTER YOU'VE BEEN EXERCISING FOR AWHILE - 6
Heavier weight. Duration Doesn’t Substitute for Intensity. Increment your exercise.

SET A TIME FRAME - 5
Do it for one month. Exercise Daily. Do a 30-day Challenge.

KEEP A LOG OR JOURNAL - 5
Do a workout, put up a star. Record the way your body feels after workouts and take body measurements.

GO PUBLIC - 5
Tell people what you’re doing! Make your goal public. Post your results on your blog.
______________________________________________________
Here are the bloggers who did all the work coming up with the ideas, and the blog posts where you can find them:

13 Tips to Actually Enjoy Exercising - lifehack.org

Bored with your Workout? Let's Mix it Up a little! - Dumb Little Man

31 Ways to Motivate Yourself to Exercise | Zen Habits

16 Tips to Triple Your Workout Effectiveness | Zen Habits

How to Exercise like a Pro – even if you’re Not! at Ririan Project

How to Make Exercise a Permanent Habit In Your Life at Ririan Project

Seven Little Known Tips for Getting in Shape - lifehack.org

Finding a Healthier Lifestyle - How You can find the Perfect Exercise Routine – Dumb Little Man

6 Workout Hacks, Plus 8 Tips for Beginners - Dumb Little Man

Top 42 Exercise Hacks | Zen Habits

18 Ways to Supercharge a Boring Gym Session at Ririan Project

15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It) - lifehack.org

10 Ideas to Get You Exercising

4 Simple Steps to Start the Exercise Habit | Zen Habits

Home Gyms And Home Fitness Information: 7 Tips for Starting a New Exercise Routine

Get Healthy and Fit, Part 2 - Exercise Edition | Zen Habits

How to Get Back on the Exercise Train | Zen Habits

10 Benefits of Exercise, and How to Start Doing It at Ririan Project

Holiday Party Refreshments That Just Don't Work

Penelope Trunk's post on Brazen Careerist titled Five things people say about Christmas that drive me nuts inspired me to think deeply about this holiday madness we're facing. Like all those holiday parties scheduled between now and January 1, 2008. I've been to my share in the past, and I've come to believe the following foods and beverages should be banned from all public and private places at this time (indeed, any time) of the year:

Cheese Balls
Always labeled "port wine," these seemingly efficient creations have one basic problem: once the first guest takes a portion from a fresh ball, it immediately looks like leftovers. And have you ever been to a gathering where one of these nut-rolled wonders are devoured down to the last cracker? SOLUTION: Serve cheese by all means. Just not processed.

Spiral Sliced Ham
This actually tastes fine, if you like ham. I can never navigate the proper-sized slice. It's always one continuous ribbon, difficult to maneuver into one of those small, cube-shaped rolls. I feel like I'm going to walk away from the table trailing ham behind me, like toilet paper stuck to my shoe. SOLUTION: Consider the spiral slice a given, and contribute your own slicing before you place it on the table.

Condiments in Ramekins
Closely tied to the Spiral Sliced Ham. Granted, a big jar of Hellman's and a blazing yellow Heinz squirt bottle does irreparable damage to the buffet table aesthetics. But mayonnaise starts to turn colors when exposed to air, and mustard gets all crusty. We won't even mention the food safety issues. SOLUTION: Nix the ham and you don't have to supply the condiments in any container.

Egg Nog
"I just drink it for the alcohol," you've probably heard people say. Any beverage that requires an excuse is subject to deletion in my opinion. And is there any justification for displaying a bowl of thick, whitish-yellow creamlike substance with that most unappetizing name? SOLUTION: Serve mixed drinks, wine and beer. Or soft drinks, if you're so inclined.

Kabobs on a Cabbage
My mom made this for a Christmas Eve party a couple of years ago. Sliced a cabbage in half and spent far too much time sticking it with cold cut-laden toothpicks. It looked hazardous. After guests consumed a significant number of kabobs, we were left with a cabbage full of holes to look at. Happy Holidays! SOLUTION: Don't read housekeeping magazines before the holidays.

Sparkling Cider
A product that is All About The Package. Why else would people buy and serve apple juice with bubbles, if not to approximate champagne. It's just sweet enough to keep it from being served with any meal course. Two glasses of this and I just start feeling sick. SOLUTION: Go to bed at a normal hour that night.

Which holiday party foods/beverages would you like to retire permanently?

8 Reasons Why Many Networking Events Suck
and how organizers can improve them...

I enter a roomful of people I've never seen before. I write "MIKE" in large block letters on a nametag sticker and attach it to my shirt. I feel marked, but nobody shoots. Nobody even looks. I wander through the throng, trying to find the bar. I can feel the noise. I reach the bar, order a drink and turn to see everyone in small, closed circles. How do I break in? I decide I can't, so I focus on the people outside the groups. Their standing alone, with dead expressions.

And how can I engage a zombie?

I'm pretty good at meeting people for the first time. I don't have a problem striking up and sustaining a conversation. People genuinely like me. So why are so many of the networking events I've recently attended so bad?

1. Nobody's acting as a connector, and people have to sink or swim. You can't tell the organizers from the attendees, and the organizers are most likely perched behind a registration table or inside one of those small, closed groups. It's the organizer's responsibility to make sure that people are connecting, and the shy are included, by searching out the loners, getting them introduced around, even providing icebreakers. Get helpers to move around, meet everyone, be visible. Have them wear funny hats. Jeff Pulver's methods at his recent networking breakfast are ideal for getting strangers engaged with one another. He should be cloned and distributed live.

2. Just when it starts to get decent, the organizers stop everything and start making announcements. Sure, you need to market the event and let people know about what's upcoming. But do you have to do that in the middle of my conversation? You may have cut short a million dollar deal (not likely, but who knows?) Send emails out the next day, create a handout you can pass around unobtrusively while people are talking, highlight your events on your web site. Just don't turn the crowd into a literal audience.

3. The venue is too dark, hot, crowded, noisy (or lacks carpeting). Loud music may require that people stand closer to each other to converse, but it also makes those small circles even smaller. Think about the American Need for Personal Space (read about "Body contact and personal expression") and do a site visit beforehand. You might not be able to remedy all the problems, but at least you can be ready to work around them.

4. Your event is advertised as networking when it's really a presentation (and some of those presentations may be about networking.) Close to #2, although attendees may feel more baited-and-switched. Make sure you haven't set up chairs in the dreaded theater-style. Ban PowerPoints, can the lecturers, and don't focus the group's attention. Provide multiple food/drink stations, and spread handouts on tables around the room - anything to prove we're not back in school.

5. Too much distance between the "old guard" and the "newbies." I went to a playwriting conference at Arena Stage a few years ago - I think I even got an invitation. There were equal numbers of established writers, artistic directors, and struggling playwrights. At lunch, the status quo all sat together, while we huddled at the kids table. Know who will be attending your event. Get clear on the range of people likely involved. If you aren't able facilitate some connections between the old guard and the new, then perhaps you should cancel the event, or at least not hold it again without some real evaluation (and not that checklist you hand out asking us how much we loved you.)

6. The event becomes a figurative fishbowl. Your monthly meetup is a big success. People mark it on their calendars and email you about the next one. Those small, closed circles of participants are really a measure of your success. You wanted people to meet up, and they have. The trouble is, your event has turned into Happy Hour With Friends. Put more time into developing how you want the event to unfold, rather than relying on the "y'all show up" kind of hospitality. Go back to your original reason for getting together. Your original goal is probably light years from "we want to keep the already-acquainted talking only to those they already know."

7. Networking is scheduled for the end of a long day of presentations. This usually happens at conferences. I've been to - and organized - so many meetings jammed full of lectures, slides and handouts, where any networking time longer than a coffee break happens at the end of the day. By 6:00, people are ready for drinks, dinner and conversation, but with their friends. So many attendees have told me they're "burned out" at the end of the day, yet they find the networking to be the best part of their participation. I personally know it's almost impossible to provide for additional mingling time at an annual meeting, where even the lunches are programmed. Someone, someday, will realize this and make the necessary changes. I think.

8. Unclear, or too wide-ranging, event objectives. Sure, I know the main methods of successful networking involves meeting people first, second and third, and then maybe you can get into what you can do for each other. But it's tough to get enthused about a conversation on financial planning when I'm looking to connect on a possible business partnership level. Icebreakers are great to introduce a focused goal - and they don't have to be intricate and minutely planned. I'll bet Jeff Pulver didn't spend much time explaining his goals at the recent breakfast - and you can be reasonably assured the event didn't try to be all things to all people.
_________________________________________________________________
What would I have put down for my personal tag line? How about "Mike Ambrose: Making the Personal Universal."

The Internet Is For...

A song in Avenue Q tells us "The Internet is for Porn..." That may be the case, but it's also for Lists. And Litemind (the blog for "Exploring ways to use our minds efficiently") has just published a List of Lists, also know as The Lists Group Writing Project. I contributed "Top 23 Motivation Tips, Tricks and Tactics from the Blogosphere" and there are prizes to be had if my list draws enough eyeballs and votes.

But that's now why I've started entering these contests. There are even better outcomes:

1. they guide readers to my blog;
2. they raise my Technorati authority and lower my ranking (towards #1);
3. they introduce me to new blogs that I would probably have never found on my own.

So take a look at the list. My favorites:

17 POWER Tips For StumbleUpon Beginners
...because I need to learn more about this StumbleUpon thing everyone's talking about.

10 Ways To Work Through Your Workout
...because I've tried them and they work!

21 Punching Tips On Social Media Marketing and Social Media Optimization
...because it's a list of articles I can study later.

100 Resources To Improve Your Career, Relationships And Money
...because I'm wildly successful in all three areas (NOT!)

No Cost Business Tools: 37 Free Applications That Make Your Life Easier, Free of Charge
...because the future should continue to be free, or so I believe.

Top 23 Motivation Tips, Tricks and Tactics from the Blogosphere

Stuck in a rut? Can't get going? Moving backward instead of forward? The blogosphere has just the solution for you. "Personal Hack" blogs list all kinds of tips to kickstart our flagging motivation. But I've been wondering - how much of this information is repeated? Not that there's anything wrong with that - sometimes I need to read something a bunch of times before it sinks in.

Inspired by LiteMind's Lists Group Writing Project, I downloaded motivation tactics from 11 blogs (searched through Google and Technorati), then tried to sort them according to some overall headings I created just to answer my question. And I found a combination of repeated tips and original tricks. It's all below - the headings I created, the number next to the title which tells you how many tactics in all there were for each specific heading, and after the list, the blogs themselves:

TAKE A BREAK AND DO SOMETHING ELSE - 14 Tactics
Interesting that the most cited tactic is to get away from work and listen to music, do something physical, or just sit with your eyes closed for a few minutes. But it makes a whole lot of sense, especially if you're a "nose-to-the-grindstone" type of person.

FACE UP TO REALITY - 12
The "hard work ethic" phrases we've heard all our lives, including: life is tough, work through the difficult, be patient, stop thinking - just do, stick with it, remember there'll be ups and downs. They work, unless you make a steady diet of them.

FIND AND USE VISUAL OR OUTSIDE MOTIVATORS - 12
I found two categories of tips under this heading: objects you gather which trigger your enthusiasm, and ideas (both conventional, like recognition and power, or "doing it for someone you love.").

CLEAR AWAY DISTRACTIONS AND FOCUS - 12
Eliminate the non-essential and focus on your mission, vision, and goals.

GET SOME HELP - 11
Because you can't do it all alone, "get a coach, take a class, join a group, get a workout/goal buddy, find others working hard, or create a friendly competition"

START AND FOCUS ON THE SMALL AND SIMPLE - 11
Concentrate not on the huge amount of work you have to do, but on the next, small simple step, and build from there.

MAXIMIZE YOUR CREATIVITY AND DO WHAT MOVITATES YOU - 11
Why spend all your time on the awful, painful tasks? Find what you like doing, the stuff that fires you up, builds from your creativity, and do that for awhile.

BE POSITIVE - 9
Nuke negativity.

SET GOALS - 7
One goal, long term goals, a major goal, unrealistic goals, or no goals at all.

DEVELOP A PLAN - 6
Timelines, deadlines, bite-sized chunks - create a road map that will keep you on course and make sure you don't spend all your energy right of the starting gate.

BUILD (AND KEEP BUILDING) YOUR KNOWLEDGE - 5
Read, learn, listen, investigate, and educate yourself self - all on an ongoing basis.

KEEP TRACK OF YOUR PROGRESS - 5
Track, chart, follow, evaluate progress and journal it daily, so you'll know how far you've come and how far you have to go.

INSPIRATION - 5
Seek internal stimulation.

ANALYZE YOUR DIFFICULTIES - 5
Reframe problems, deconstruct your fears, keep notes on when your motivation sucks, know when you urge yourself to quit so you can fight back.

CHANGE THE WAY YOU DO THINGS - 4
Kill repetition and introduce variety into your tasks.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE HAVING SIMILAR INTERESTS - 4
Look for reinforcers of positive thoughts and feelings, good company, positive friends, passionate people of similar interests.

HELP OTHERS - 4
Share, encourage, help and be of service to other people.

REWARD YOURSELF - 3
Often, after completing a task.

MAKE AN OUTWARD COMMITMENT - 3
Post your goal, commit publicly, make it big and fully commit.

BEGIN THE DAY - 3
Start with a To Do list to kickstart your day.

GO BACK TO SQUARE ONE - 3
Ask yourself "why am I doing this in the first place," find powerful reasons why and write them down.

DON'T STOP - KEEP GOING - 2
It's all about building and maintaining momentum.

GET THE RIGHT TOOLS - 2
Don't use a saw to hammer a nail.
____________________________________________________________________
Thanks to the following blogs for writing the posts I was able to analyze for this list:

Lifehack -
8 steps to continuous self-motivation
How to enjoy what you are doing no matter what
Thirteen tricks to motivate yourself
11 ways to motivate yourself to complete any task in the new year

A List Apart
Staying Motivated

Daily PlanIt
What's the Motivation?

MotivationTools.com
Seven Rules of Motivation

ZenHabits
Top 20 Motivation Hacks
Get Off Your Butt - 16 Ways To Get Motivated When You're In a Slump

Made for Success
Finding Motivation: What To Do When You Don't Feel Like Doing Anything

Dumb Little Man
5 Simple Steps to Stop Procrastination Today

Freelance Switch
Staying Motivated Without a Boss

Ririan Project
Why you lose your focus and what to do about it

Lifehacker
Ten Ways to Defeat Brain Drain

Ian's Messy Desk
8 mental steps to self-motivation

10 Remedies For "I'm Starting My Own Business And I'm Paralyzed With Fear!"

The past two weeks have been rough! I developed "Total Fear Paralysis At Going Out On My Own" and turned to the drugs I know will best numb the panic for me: McDonald's, television, and getting lost in the Wikipedia. Still, I kept thinking "Who am I kidding? My consulting will never get off the ground and fly!" That is, when I wasn't thinking about the bills coming in, especially the money I owe over the next year for my building's brick repointing project. Yikes!

Instead of moving on to stronger drugs (like jumping out my fourth-floor window), I scanned the Web for blog postings from people in the same dire straights. I tried to find personal stories, along with examples of errors I'm afraid of making and advice stronger than "Buck up, you'll be fine." And these are the people who spoke to me:

1. Sometimes it feels like...
Thanks to this post by Seth Godin, I know that even the most successful can hate their jobs. Although written as the dust settled from the Dot Com Bust, it's still applicable today.

2. Timing is never right
on Go Big Network reminds me that the planets align for very few people, and I'm really lucky since I don't have to worry about quitting my job (since I was partially laid off a few months ago!)

3. Reasons to Quit
from 43 Folders shows me I'm not the only person coming up with too many ideas that might not work, and alleviates my guilt in abandoning some to concentrate on others.

4. My Top 10 Worst Ideas to Make Money
at Shoemoney assures me it's ok to have those ideas, even if they're dumb - and it's better to learn from others before I spend tons of bucks.

5. Should You Start Your Own Work at Home Business?
at Life Learning Today gives me the pros and cons to going out on my own so I can build my confidence all over again.

6. 10 Stupid Mistakes Made by the Newly Self-Employed
tells me "Hey, if Steve Pavlina can make stupid mistakes, then my stupid mistakes can't be all that bad!"

7. Hate My Job stories
at Startup Nation give me the sense that I'm Not Alone.

8. Why is it so scary to go from corporate drone to entrepreneur?
at Escape from Cubicle Nation not only asks the same question I'm asking, it gives me some answers.

9. Entrepreneurship: What To Do When You’re Scared Sh*tless
on IttyBiz reveals there aren't just a few people out there like me, there's probably millions.

10. Stop Reading Lifehacks!
at Jack of All Blogs gets me off the computer and Taking Action.

How To Get Motivated, When You've Got No Motivation At All

I had one of those mornings earlier this week. You know the kind - when the list of tasks you made the night before looks as appetizing as grey oatmeal, and a trip to the beach is really all you want. Instead of wallowing in unproductive anxiety, I packed my gym bag and went off to exercise.

On the way to the weights, I came up with these 10 motivation hacks that work for me when I'm horrendously unmotivated:

1. Get Moving!
The gym's a great place to work off that nervous energy that's keeping you from concentrating. I go even when part of me yells "I don't want to go to the gym" like a spoiled toddler. Not that I've ever heard a spoiled toddler yell that particular line.

2. Walk to Nowhere!
This works best when time isn't on your side, and it's disarmingly simple: Go outside, and take a walk. Your destination? Someplace a few blocks away where you turn around and head back. The key is to NOT combine this with anything else, like an errand or a trip to the store - there's no multitasking allowed. I allow my mind to wander while I walk, and I usually come up with a firm plan for tackling work by the time I get back.
different from exercise

3. Send a Gutsy Email/Make a Gutsy Phone Call!
Sometimes fear is what makes us want to run off on holiday. If it's fear about making a (self-perceived) difficult phone call, I find that the best thing to do is Just Make It. Email works fine too. Jot a few (2-3) lines for how you'd like to open the conversation. After the call, I always feel like I've really accomplished something, which gets the flywheel going.

4. Declutter and Clean!
I grew up in a small house with a somewhat large family, so I'm used to turning off outside stimuli. I can deal with a ton of clutter, but I know it can be distracting. Organizing my desk, getting a bunch of papers filed, and putting stuff away can achieve the equivalent of a Zen garden. My secret to getting it done in record time: if I pick something up, I have to do something with it - like put it away.

5. Play Some Awesome Tunes!
I listen to DC's only classical music station, but it's background noise. They don't play much other than the usual Bach, Mozart, Schubert and Beethoven. They aren't my guys, so when I need to get my brain working, I put on Ravel or Debussy. Something about those two fires synapses in my brain. Look for the kind of of music that does the same for you.

6. Go to Another Room and Accomplish Something Physical!
The main objective here is to get away from the computer for a short time, but not so long that you lose all sense of industry. Since I work at home, I'll go to the kitchen and do some cleaning there. Or take out the garbage.

7. Write Down What Would Motivate You!
If I'm not motivated, that means my brain's lacking. So I ask it "what the heck WOULD motivate you?" I find I'll come up with very expensive options, ones that not only demand a high outlay of money but take some time to plan and achieve. This is a great way to develop a long-term goal list.

8. Plan for Tomorrow!
A "To-Do" list works great for me. It works even better if I've developed it the day before. Timothy Ferris advocates for lists in The Four Hour Work Week. I just have to get motivated to develop the list.

9. Take a Break Every Hour!
This works best as a preventive measure. No matter what I'm doing, if I've slogged at it for an hour, I take a break. Even if I've worked up a bunch of steam on whatever I'm doing.

10. Give Up and Give In!
Take a nap. Watch tv. Feign and headache and go home. Sometimes what works is playing hooky. Especially if, at some point after I've thrown in the towel, I come up with a To-Do list for tomorrow.

10 Reasons for Why I Stay In Dupont Circle

Sometimes I wonder why I continue to live in this overpriced neighborhood. I've been in my condo 15 years, and in the 'hood for 18, and I'm jonesing for a different lifestyle. Or so I tell myself. I find it tougher and tougher to battle winters here, not because they've gotten worse, but because I've lost my patience with being cold. A post on Brazen Careerist got me jotting down notes on why I stay here, and I've come up with the following 10 reasons:

1. Low mortgage payment. I bought my condo when you could get a great place for under 100K.

2. WalkScore of 97. I don't think there are many other places in this country that can top that. Although it does contribute to the still-high condo prices here.

3. Fast access to great bike trails. And stretches of Beach Drive in Rock Creek Park are closed to cars on the weekends.

4. Family nearby. Close enough to visit without traveling all day, but far enough so that they don't drop in unexpectedly.

5. Escape of urban escape. A few minutes of driving and it looks like you're out of the city altogether.

6. Close to beaches. Rehoboth is only a three-hour drive away.

7. The gay thing. Although I have seen more and more young (straight) couples with strollers (and stroller inhabitants) over the past year, 17th Street is still home to four gay bars in two blocks, and the Dupont Circle area is still known for its acceptance of "alternative lifestyles." Those of us who have been here a long time refer to the hood as the ghetto. I've gotten comfortable here, although we can still experience gay bashing nearby.

8. Close to the Metro. I'm about three blocks (or so) from the subway system.

9. Nearby friends. It's just a quick hike to where we all hang out.

10. Tons of employment possibilities. Tons.

Post-Cluetrain Rant

I finished reading The Cluetrain Manifesto yesterday. It's close to a decade now since it was first written, and I think it still has tons to say about our current and future online and face-to-face communications.

I caused me, also, to go on a rant. Here are my 12 theses in the spirit of Cluetrain's 95. Some of them carry explanations, while others sit there enigmatically. But I'd be please to explain my thinking to anyone who wants to start a conversation! And I will most likely expand on some of them in the days ahead:

Fluorescent lighting has to be the worst lighting in the world, and shouldn't be used anywhere except in hospitals and maybe restaurant kitchens.

CEOs of store chains: Look at your stores. Look at them!!!!

Do customers want to get in and out of stores quickly because they've got something else to do, or because the store's environment sucks?

CEOs of store chains: Look at your employees. Look at them!!!!

Everything, and I mean everything, speaks.

Retail, organization, and government leadership: Why aren't you worried about your the health of your employees and their families?

We have too much stuff. There are people in this country that can't get out of bed because they are so overweight. We have reformulated our plastic trash bags to stretch because we have too much trash to throw away.

Commerce: Surprise me. But not as I'm about to leave the store. And not as I'm walking in. Start with my "snail" mail box.

How dare you tell me I'm not worthy. How dare you.

Whatever you're doing, you're probably beating your head against a brick wall. You can stop. Now.

There's no excuse for dismal government office environments at any scale.

Nobody in the U.S. is more than an hour away from a better, more tranquil, more beautiful environment.

11 Tips on How To Meet the Famous (and/or the Very Well-Known)

Chris Brogan has been discussing how he works with a large crowd of people who want to meet him. And he's also come up with a bunch of tips and tricks to help us all when we meet the famous, or Very Well Known (VWKs). It's fascinating to me that, even in this democratized world of blogging and social networking, our "celebritendency" takes over, and no matter what group we're involved with, we feel the need to hoist up a few members into a rarified realm.

Still, it's exciting to meet someone you only know from "mass" and/or "social" media. I've met quite a large number of celebrities, and I've had VWKs involved in some of my endeavors. The following are tips I have used - they work for me (which means I haven't caused any incidents or made a total fool of myself during any encounters.)

1. Get clear in your mind your exact purpose in meeting the VWK.
If it's to shake their hand, tell them how much you like something that's tied into him or her, and get a picture of the two of you, then full steam ahead. You'll probably be successful - I have been in the past. If it's to have a big conversation, get seated at their dinner table, sell them something, or suddenly become their best buddy in the world, it's probably better if you don't approach.

2. Wait your turn.
There will probably be a small crowd around the celeb. Don't barge in. It's ok to wait in line.

3. Realize that you're going to get maybe 30 seconds with the person, and be satisfied with that.
If you've got an idea that you think the celeb will love, don't pitch it there. Work through the people coordinating the event. They can hook you up with that well-known person's staff or assistants.

4. Watch their body language while you're chatting - especially their eyes.
I've notice that people "in the public eye" use a subtle method of moving the crowd that wants to meet them. As they finish chatting with you, their eyes will land on the next person. Don't take this as an insult. Think about how you would act (probably the same) if you had 200 people waiting in line to see you!

5. Have a closing line ready to avoid awkwardness.
The celeb might be tired, and stop talking after answering your question. If you don't have anything to say at that point, it can be disconcerting to stand there with nothing to say, as the crickets chirp in the background. This is a great point to say "You've been so nice, I'm glad to have met you. So long!" and then move off.

6. It's ok to extend your hand first for a handshake.
By all means extend your hand. With a smile. It shows confidence, and allows you to control the encounter (see above).

7. It's not ok to grab that person.
Do not grab. I repeat. Do not grab. I have never done so, and it's amazing that I have to mention this. But it does happen. If you grab you'll be viewed as a psycho, and you might be wrestled to the ground by large assistants. Or worse - that VWK may ask you to leave them alone!

8. Avoid (at all costs) trying to get their attention by calling out their name, loudly.
They are trained not to respond. And if they do respond, think: is that how you want to be remembered? By yelling their name?

9. Keep the encounter short.
Just as it's not ok to stand in Costco and snarf up all the samples, it's not ok to monopolize a celeb's time. Especially if there are people waiting behind you.

10. Try not to blubber.
Compose yourself beforehand, if you feel you're going to get too excited during the actual meeting. However, if you find yourself tongue-tied, and mess up what you say, and stammer a bit, try not to get upset. It might come across as endearing. If you can laugh at yourself, the celeb might just laugh along with you. After all, you probably won't be the first person who's gone all idiotic during the encounter. (Earlier this year, I experienced brain freeze when I was introduced to Isaac Hayes. We both survived the encounter quite well.)

11. Meet other people.
That's what you're there for, isn't it? And everyone's got a story. Somebody might even be able to partner with you. Remember that, first and foremost.
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That's Charo who's got me in a headlock. She's quite delightful!

Tranquility Base

If I ever get an iPod (which may be never, but go with me on this), the first thing I'd do is download a bunch of classical music that I find not only tranquil, but is able to put me in a totally different physical location altogether. These snippets from suites and larger works engage my brain chemicals in such a way that I feel I'm on a beach in the middle of summer when it's actually February. In other words: Instant Vacation. I have many of these on CD, but I haven't checked to see if they're all available through classical music iPod download sites. They're pretty much all from the 20th century, with French and English composers filling the most spots for some reason. And they are:

Ralph Vaughan-Williams
“My Pretty Bess” from Five Tudor Portraits

Jean Sibelius
1st movement, Symphony #6

Maurice Ravel
"Menuet" from Le Tombeau de Couperin
Pavane pour une infante defunte
2nd Movement, Piano Concerto in G

Erik Satie
Gymnopédies

Malcolm Arnold
"Allegretto" from Four Scottish Dances

Gabriel Faure
"Sicilienne" from Pelleas et Mellisande
Pavane
"Pastorale" from Masques et Bergamasques

Percy Grainger
"Harkstow Grange" from Lincolnshire Posey

Aaron Copland
1st movement, Clarinet Concerto

Claude Debussy
Prelude a l'Apres-midi d'un faune
"Nuages" from Nocturnes
"En bateau" and "menuet" from Petite Suite

I sometimes wonder what other people hear in these selections...

Tips & Tricks
Daily Blog Tips posted all the entries in the Tips & Tricks Writing Project. My post is included under Health & Fitness ("Get the Body You Always Wanted"). Among all the great information, four entries stood out of the crowd for me. They are:

6 Tips to Generate Outstanding Ideas
Because I agree wholeheartedly!

Thirteen Tips to Help You Resume Your Health & Fitness Program if You Get Off Track
Because I have Gotten Off Track and I need to get back on!

Life Tips Learned from High School Musical
Because that movie has a couple of great production numbers which feature excellent personal development information!

Three Strategies for Surviving Your Short Stay in the Slammer
Because we might not follow those Life Tips from High School Musical!

13 Tips on How To Write A Screenplay

Even though I've stopped trying to write the Perfect Zombie Movie Screenplay (or any screenplay whatsoever), I'm pretty confident that there are many people out there who harbor the screenwriting dream. The cliche in Hollywood is that everyone drives around with a script in their back pocket. I tend to think that's close to the way it is across the country, if not around the world. For you Hinterland Screenwriters, like myself, the script isn't in your back pocket, it's up there in your head.

But getting it out fraught with dangers, procrastination being one of them. However, the sooner you start committing words to your laptop, the sooner you will feel dumb, foolish, immature, unstable, lonely, jittery, ridiculous, and bipolar. Like every other writer who's ever lived. Onward, then, to the 13 Tips:

1. Get clear on what stage your at. Are you a total neophyte beginner - the words haven't left your brain yet. Or are you further along - you complain so much to friends after you've seen a movie that they no longer invite you to drinks or dinner afterwards.

2. Realize right up front that you are doing Actual Work and you are Not Getting Paid.

3. Come up with a sellable idea. This is where the term "High Concept" comes in. How can you tell what's High Concept and what's not? Anything these days with Zombies is High Concept. Your coworkers foibles and the boredom of your job are not.

4. Create an awesome villain. And go for an extreme. Villains are either pure and simply people (think Hannibal Lector) or require makeup, costuming and special effects (think HAL, Darth and Sauron.) Even better: if the villain is on the same side as your hero!

5. Remove this thought from your brain and never let it escape your lips: "Somebody in Hollywood will be interested in this because it's in the news." Nothing could be further from the truth. And if Hollywood is interested, chances are they've got scripts already written. By the time you send your's in, the world has changed.

6. Study 3-Act Screenwriting Structure. After you've written your first draft. Nothing keeps a writer from completing a script or other piece of work like the "having to make it perfect the first time through" mindset.

7. Allow yourself to write crap for your first draft. Absolute crap. "So bad your five year old could do light-years better" crap. It's the only way. Sorry, but it is.

8. Resign yourself to actually writing. There is no market for ideas. Ideas attached to incredibly-well-executed scripts, however...

9. Make a list of all the movies you know that don't start with a bang. Then ignore this list, and start your screenplay with a bang.

10. Google "Screenwriting Mistakes" and Don't Make Them.

11. Write great dialogue. Stuff that sounds real, dilineates character, advances story, engages viewers, inspires actors, and is economical yet not at all terse. If you find you can't write dialogue, then listen to everyone who's around you. 24/7/365. Write down what they're saying. If you're not getting stares, angry looks, or outright threats to stop, you aren't doing it enough. If you still can't write great dialogue, find someone who can.

12. Fully believe that you can come up with a script that is better than most movies you've ever seen. Just about anyone can. The prevailing view among scriptreaders in Hollywood is that most scripts in their "To Be Read On Saturday Night" pile are awful. And they are, because they're trying to be like all the other scripts in Hollywood that actually go into production. So while anyone can write a better script, Hollywood is set up to always say "No." Which leaves the Hinterland Screenwriter between the horns, dilemma-wise.

13. Consider writing a play. You'll improve your dialogue craft immensely. Chances are you'll get a play produced easier, or you'll find actors who will do readings for you so you can hear how your writing plays out loud. And if you're really lucky, you'll see your work onstage, that will be enough, and you won't have to begin writing a screenplay because your dreams have been fulfilled.
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Why 13 Tips? Because writing a screenplay that actually gets optioned, sold or produced is 99% luck and 1% hard work, dedication, talent, craft, and passion. So I concede to bad luck right up front. You might think it's the other way around, 1% luck and all, but that's because you're seeing things from the hinterlands, where it can seem pretty roomy. It took me awhile to fully realize how the percentages shake out, so I don't fault anyone for their world view. There was no way I could understand it without some experience myself. The good thing is that it takes very little experience to facilitate dawn on your awareness. And yes, that picture's from Adaptation, a great movie to watch if you're wondering what writing is like.

10 Sure-Fire Procrastination Tactics

Let's face it: most of us are no good at procrastinating. We need that extra push from behind to get into procrastination's time-munching groove. We'd much rather re-caulk the bathtub, make those five extra sales calls, or revamp our resumes. But with a bit of practice, and the proper mindset, we can claim procrastination for ourselves, once-and-for-all. Here are some tips and tricks which I've collected from years of watching those around me fiddle their time away:

1. Play Tetris. For free. This game can go on forever, but since most of us fail at level three, we'll spend hours going back and forth from level one. You can tell people "it improves my hand-eye coordination," which is the excuse everyone uses.

2. Practice Six Degrees of Wikipediation. Begin by pulling up a big Wikipedia entry - something like "the Holy Roman Empire." Each time you reach a hyperlinked word, click on it and start reading the new page. If you're using Firefox, left click on the word, to keep it from opening a new tab. Try to avoid dead-ends, and see how far you've gone in an hour.

3. Check tomorrow's weather. Turn on The Weather Channel - just for a minute - just to see what tomorrow's going to be like. You'll turn off the TV right after. Promise.

4. Go for coffee. Or tea. Or french fries. At a cafe. Preferably one with lots of people walking by, where you're likely to run into someone you know.

5. Workout. This is a perfect activity, as it can double as Something That Is Good For You. And it always takes extra time to pack your gym bag, start up the car, drive to the gym, change your clothes, warm up, lift weights, take a couple minutes down time between each set, cool down, shower, dress, get into the car and drive back (home, preferably.)

6. Compile a list. It can be a list of just about anything. All the conferences you've been to - with the ones you've presented at in bold. Places you plan to visit. What you would do with a million dollars. All the things you need to fix in your condo or home. Jobs you'd rather be doing than the one your doing now. Ideas you have for screenplays (come on, you know you've got them.) Services you pay for that you really don't need (like Netflix.) Sometimes one of these lists can actually be useful.

7. Buy office supplies. Pens run out. Paperclips get lost. Staples get... stapled. Paper gets wadded up and tossed into the trash. Office supplies always need replenishing.

8. Order books. From Amazon. Topic: Managing Your Life. When they arrive, read them. Take notes on them. Stick the notes in a folder, then go to bed.

9. Google your name. Just to make sure your identity hasn't been stolen. You probably haven't done this is six months or so.

10. Read blogs. No explanation needed.

10 "Get The Body You've Always Wanted" Tips, Tricks and Motivators

It seems, no matter where you turn, we're obsessed with body size, exercise, and portion size. I'm obsessed as much as everyone else. So I came up with the following fitness tips and tricks to keep you motivated as winter (or at least fall) approaches. I use all ten myself, so they work (at least for me.) Feel free to add your own to the comments section! Just be sure to check with your physician if you've been a couch potato for too long and suddenly feel the urge to become Charles Atlas. Full disclosure: I find #3 the toughest to follow, unless it's combined with #1.

1. Invest in "Personal Buttkicking" (PBK)
Sign up for, but don't spend all your money on, PBK - my term for Personal Training. A trainer's expertise, motivational skill, personality and sense of humor will do wonders for your workout. Most trainers charge between $65-100 per 50-minute session, so it can get expensive. If you're strapped for funds, ask if you can contract for two sessions (I'll explain why in a minute.) Some gyms offer new members a couple of sessions gratis; if you're not new, watch for specials, or take the initiative and ask about discounts. Maximize your sessions by asking for diet and exercise tips for when you "go solo" again. Good trainers will provide you with simple meal and workout plans without being asked. Good trainers will also ask you about your goals. My reasoning for a minimum of two sessions? Trainers love clients who put everything they've got into their workout, and do it with a sense of humor. If you can muster a laugh when you think you're going to die, the trainer will remember you. Workout on your own when the trainer's with other clients and you'll feel like your in the classroom and the teacher is watching. I've had trainers volunteer tips and motivation for even after we've completed all our sessions. That's motivating!

2. Watch motivational/inspirational television shows
A steady diet of crime, murder, terrorism and political scandal on news shows, day and night soap operas, and Law & Order SVU (which I love) drains our energy. Content that's sarcastic, violent or features Brad Pitt feeds our inner critic and exposes us to hopeless scenarios. Try finding shows that feature people doing extraordinary things, that highlight creativity, and/or present others in a more positive light. "The Biggest Loser" is a good choice. "Wife Swap" is out of the question.

3. Replace your "cheat day" with a single "cheat item"
The trouble with "cheat day" - that all important 24 hours when you can eat whatever you want - is it expands too easily into "cheat 3-day." "I'll splurge on breakfast today," you rationalize, "lunch tomorrow, and dinner on Monday. I'll eat healthy the rest of the week. "Cheat meal" can go the same way, too, if you eat donuts in the morning, bacon at lunch and, what the heck, a cheesburger, fries and diet coke at dinner. I suggest focusing instead on a once-per-week cheat ITEM. For example, ice cream. Limit yourself to a pint, which forces portion control. Only buy one pint each week, close to the time you're actually going to consume it. Choose the "healthiest" brand you can find. You don't have to jettison taste - there's lots of great low-fat, low-cal, or light ice cream and sorbet out there. Take it home, give it your full attention, and eat it slooooooooooow, because that's all you get until next week. Your goal is to stop confusing your taste buds and acclimate yourself to enjoy healthier food.

4. Take stock and push ahead of the curve
I took this from my "Happiness Commandments." Basically, it's about training your mind to deal with workout pain. There are times I'm riding my bike or lifting weights at the gym when the miles or the pounds get ahead of me. I feel like something needs to pull me along, instead of pushing me from behind. At these times, I take stock of my body, asking myself "am I going to have a heart attack? A stroke? What hurts? My butt?" When I find I'm not doing too badly, and when I let my legs or arms or whatever hurt, I can compartmentalize the feeling, and keep it from taking over my entire body. And if I'm not going to have a heart attack, then I can push myself harder.

5. Sign up for a 5K
You've got to have a goal to work for - and in most cases, merely stating your desire to lose weight or build muscle isn't going to satisfy you in the long run. Have an actual event to work toward. Running your first 5K, bicycling in a charity ride, even going on a cruise or attending your high school reunion are good events to consider. Get your goal outside yourself, and you'll achieve what you need inside yourself.

6. Ask for a spot
If you're new to this whole gym thing, you could find it daunting. You might flash back momentarily to gym class in school. There's a big difference now, though. People might look focused and mean in a gym, but they're really just focused. Ask someone to spot you for a set of bench presses. You'll find that most gym denizens are happy to help out once in a while. You might even find a workout partner.

7. Find a gym as close to work or home as possible.
This is the old "location, location, location" thing. But it's especially true for gyms. Ideally, a gym should be walking distance from home or the office. If not, then try to locate one on your route from home to the office. If you don't have to go out of your way, you're more likely to get that workout in, even if you're tired and hungry and hate your life.

8. Watch out for endorphins*
Not so you can avoid the little buggers, but so you can realize when they kick in. Endorphins are chemicals your body releases, usually after some stress, which make you feel good. You may have heard the term "runner's high." That's a result of endorphins. After a stressful physical workout, your body dispatches these chemicals as a way of smoothing over the pain. It usually happens to me after a long bike ride. Watch for a general rise in your energy level an hour or so after your workout. Some people feel lighter, others more focused. Learn to recognize these feelings. If you find a way to bottle them, you'll make a fortune.
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9. Schedule your workout during your daily "transition times"
I have three daily "transition times," when my body forces me to get up and move: immediately after waking up (6:30am), lunch (12 noon), and the "late afternoon stretch" (5pm). My brain is no good at these times - but my body's jockeying at the gate. Pay attention to what your brain and body tell you during the day, especially those times your brain acts like a two-year-old and yells "I want to play!!!!" Then let it!

10. Buy something you almost can't fit into - but want to one day
Something tight, form fitting, and from the athletic store will do fine. Buy it even if it shows all your folds and bulges. You might even think the shirt or workout pants accentuate your love handles, etc. That's fine! You want it to! Then it will be easier to see your progress a few weeks down the road when the lycra doesn't have to strain so much.
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This post was inspired by the Tips and Tricks blog writing contest announced yesterday at Daily Blog Tips. Thanks for the opportunity to enter!

The Best Month In Which To Change Your Life

September. That's the best month to make those massive changes in our lives, the ones we think about on Monday morning as we're getting ready to go to work.

On New Year's Eve we come up with resolutions. But most of them revolve around food, drink and spending. And everyone knows "resolution" is just a euphemism for "wishful thinking."

Why's September the best month to affect those changes? A number of reasons:

1. August is one sloooooow month. Everything closes down, it seems. But everything else starts up in September. People start looking around in September, because they know everyone's back from vacation. People are easier to reach - even in this age of 24/7/365 availability.

2. You've probably taken a vacation in June, July or August, in which your brain had a chance to rest, regroup, tell you it's not satisfied, and come up with ideas to increase its future happiness.

3. We're hard wired from 12 years of schooling (more if you went to college) and we still get this "beginning again" feeling when the "back to school" ads start to appear.

4. Admit it - those back to school supplies (pens, paper, notebooks, etc.) you're buying for your kids - they reach down inside you and extract feelings of change much better than stupid hats on New Year's Eve. Just take a whiff inside a Staples or Office Depot. See what I mean?

5. For those of us in the (in)temperate zones, summer's dying. It's holding on, losing its grip, just like your old life. Remember back to May or June - didn't everything seem fresher and newer back then, just a couple of short months ago? And now how does it feel? Kind of like your job or your life. Used. On the brink. Ready to fall off the cliff. OK, so I'm stretching the analogies. But I'm sure you get what I mean.

6. Winter starts beckoning. Or threatening. What better time to begin solid activity to change your life? There's still sunlight in the evenings, but there's an urgency now, as we can see it slowly slipping away. You really don't want to get the heavier clothes out. But we're going to have to. And you really don't want to continue your life in the way you're doing now. And you don't have to.

So change in September. Start a plan this month, or lay out a plan for next September. Or, if you can, chuck it all and start new right now. I know I am!