I've Been JetBlued
I've decided Jet Blue should now be a verb - as in "That company really JetBlued me." I've been having ongoing problems with my employment-based email service - and their customer service is usually inept. This Monday morning, more problems. I call them, and get a long description (i.e. 2 sentences, which is 500 sentences in customer service time) of why they can't help me right now.

What I wanted to hear: "We're experiencing a problem right now which may be causing your problem. I'm happy to give you my name and direct line, as well as take your name and phone number, and keep you posted on our endeavors to fix the problem."

What I got: "We're experiencing emergency power maintenance, and so I'm not able to tell you why or what is going on with your service."

"Emergency Power Maintenance?" What the hell is that?

After I hung up, I said to my co-workers:

"They JetBlued me."