Wednesday, September 27, 2006

This Passion Thing is Way Overrated
Kickass Zombie Movie script has been lying dormant for months now, sleeping in its third draft, awaiting the dexterity of the handsome prince to awaken it to its fourth incarnation. Also known as EM:ZD, the screenplay was very popular last fall among the scribes at the Writer's Center screenplay seminar. "You got zombies!" they said, eyes aglow with interest, minds afire with "why didn't I think of that?" I've even figured out a kickass opening scene, which I was told it needed. So, why don't I get to it?

It's not like I haven't had success in these sorts of endeavors.

My shrink thinks it's because I'm not getting my emotional needs met. At this point, I'm inclined to agree with him.

But a bigger question haunts me. Do I want to continue chasing this dream all the way to the Best Screenplay Oscar? Or have I finally accepted that I've been doing all this largely to:
a. make myself more interesting
b. find a hunky boyfriend
c. make lots of mo-nay.

When I look at the movies that are out nowadays, and all of them starring Ben Stiller, I don't get excited. At all. Kickass Zombie Movie will most likely never get made, and that's just something that has to be said and accepted. The whole "why don't you produce art just for art's sake?" no longer works for me, especially since I don't know anyone named Art, much less anyone named Art with lots and lots of money.

And while I find the whole screenwriting thing fascinating, I ask myself: Do I really want to live in LA?

But there's another question, which might just cancel out everything: What if I finished the fourth draft, and the picture got made?

1 comment:

Feenix said...

How about writing because it makes you happy and not because it'll get you something - unless your motivation is that strong and you really believe the things you want will fulfill you.