It May Not Be Your Passion If:

#5 - You say it's your passion, but you spend 100% of your "free," non-work time doing just everything else BUT working on what you say you love.

Music: you love it. You've got a guitar, you've written songs, you've performed in bars. People say to you "That song you wrote really spoke to me," and "You're awesome, what are you doing staying here?" Things like that. You know you're not a prodigy - you know that to get where you are requires tons of practice. But the weekend rolls around and you're taking the kids everywhere, you've spent three hours at the gym, you fall asleep on the couch afterwards, and when you wake up you try tackling that mountain of paperwork you've brought home from the office. When are you practicing? Writing new stuff? "I'll definitely do it tomorrow," you tell yourself as you watch the Sci-Fi Channel on Saturday night. The next day, you do it all again, and you get so much done. But not your music. Your guitar's locked in its case in the closet.

How do I know all this? I've been there!

#1: You're in love with the idea of your passion, but you can't stand the component parts.

#2 - You and your passion have a long distance relationship (and you aren't willing to move.)

#3 - Pursuing your passion clashes big time with your personality.

#4 - In pursuit of your passion you end up doing things that might be hazardous to your health.

It May Not Be Your Passion If:

#4 - In pursuit of your passion you end up doing things that might be hazardous to your health.

Let's say your dream is to become Mr. Universe. An extreme example of a dream, perhaps, but let's go with it. You're 6'1", you've been working out with weights since high school, you've even placed in some regional bodybuilding competitions. But in order to get to that lofty plateau, you find you're going to have to do steroids.* If you find no problems with it for yourself, then fine, great, go for it. But what if you have this nagging opposition to using? What if you push past that opposition, that voice in your head yelling "wait, don't!," and start anyway? What if doing that cycle gives you all sorts of physical and behavioral changes - insane acne, heightened aggressiveness, massive depression? Suddenly, you're ignoring clear signs that your body's not cut out for what you're putting it through. Sure, there are all those other people who have "done it," and they're fine, right? But they're not you! It definitely pays to weigh the costs of your dream against any personal harm racing after it may cause.

#1: You're in love with the idea of your passion, but you can't stand the component parts.

#2 - You and your passion have a long distance relationship (and you aren't willing to move.)

#3 - Pursuing your passion clashes big time with your personality.

*Disclaimer: I don't purport to be an expert on steroid use or the controversies surrounding them, and this post does not aim to provide advice on them pro or con. This was the first example that came to my mind - so please don't beat me up!

Ship to Shore Communique
Atlantis Events sent me a response to the comments I sent them regarding their new Web site:


Mike,

Thank you for your feedback. Honestly, in our 16 years we've tried to sell cruises with a variety of photo images, and the ones that work are the attractive (and therefore somewhat younger) ones. My commentary in the site is correct -- it is marketing after all.

We've tested multiple images, and the ones that gay men respond to are essentially the ones that we have on the site. I don't think it's a question of responsibility, it's a question of running a successful business.

We're very honest with the content. Absolutely every photo on this site is a photo of real guests on a real vacation with us. And if you look a bit close, you'll find that it fairly matches the average age of our guests, which is around 39.

I also think if you look a little close, you'll find it's not all "buff", it's a variety of people in a variety of settings. But sometimes gay men miss the variety and focus on the physique. It's a common thing that we hear.

Also, I think the video content on the site addresses the variety of experience and clientele better than just the static photos.

We are rewriting some of the comments in the FAQ section. Those were written a while ago and need some updating.

I hope this sheds some light on our work and look forward to seeing you again on a future Atlantis vacation.

Thank you again for your comments.

Regards,
Rich

A Rare Opportunity
Atlantis Events, the gay charter company (which has ferried me on a number of fantastic vacations) is about to debut their new Web site. They've sent a test version of this site to "alumni" and asked for our comments. I'm excited, because it's rare that I have a prepared opinion saved up and ready-to-email! So, I sent them my posting from a number of months ago:

A Marketing Golden Rule.

I was thinking of sending along
Enough About You. What About Me? Some Thoughts on Customer Service Surveys,
but I don't want them to think I'm a crazy person.

It May Not Be Your Passion If:

#3 - Pursuing your passion clashes big time with your personality.


I probably wouldn't make a great Trappist monk. Although the life fascinates me. Simplicity. Quiet. Focus.

I remember seeing a 60 Minutes piece on Thomas Merton, probably the most famous Trappist monk of all (if one can or should label a monk "famous.") He had fascinating things to say, and I read his book The Seven Storey Mountain not long afterwards.

But I know I wouldn't make a good Trappist monk for one reason: I'm a raging extrovert. A huge "E" on the Meyers-Briggs profile. I not only "get" energy from other people, I can feel it coming in. I don't want to be the center of attention, and I don't need to be onstage. But put me in an enclosed office for hours at a time, and I shut down. My brain ceases to function - all creativity goes right out the window.

And isn't that a major portion of a Trappist monk's life? Deep introspection, silence (or should I say lack of conversation)?

Sure, we all want and crave a certain amount of calm and rest in our lives. But if I were to pursue that as my passion, well, then passion would drain out of my life.

But I'm going to read The Seven Storey Mountain again. I've still got my copy. And one of the neat things about getting older? You don't have to buy as many books, since you forget what was in many of them...

#1: You're in love with the idea of your passion, but you can't stand the component parts.

#2 - You and your passion have a long distance relationship (and you aren't willing to move.)